Department of Admission Adds “Special Talent” Portion to Application

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BWUAHAHAHA!!!

The Fourth Crown

SAINT PETER, MN—Looking to avoid admitting subpar students due to their bland and nondescript applications, the Gustavus Department of Admission has added a “special talents” portion to the application process. The Admission Department has received attention in the past for their ‘no score’ policy which gives students the option to forsake reporting their ACT/SAT scores without penalty. Jen Grover, Admission Counselor, explained the change by sharing the no score policy has made “every app just about the damn same.” Grover shared “we understand that you think that your high school was harder because you’re from Edina, and that your life was ‘changed’ when you served food at the homeless shelter that one time. The problem is that nobody cares.”

The new category for admission has truly set people apart in their applications. Potential students are asked to send in a video or material evidence of their special talents. Students have…

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